So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
