You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
