i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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