she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
time to smoke my breakfast
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
