How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
where does the pee come out of this thing
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
