I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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