I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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