i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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