Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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