She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
