I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
