so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
