So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
