I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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