So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
