I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
