It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
