what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
