did you get engaged???
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think i got beer on your cat.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
