Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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