I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dignity is for republicans.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
