Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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