I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
