Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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