She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
