he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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