my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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