I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
