doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
