Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
