My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
