Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
