YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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