i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We are two peas in an std pod
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
