Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize