At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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