Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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