didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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