She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
