Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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