My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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