if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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