I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize