marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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