hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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