I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
