I'm so fucking centered right now
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize