i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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