wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
