White coat. Heels.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
