Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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