How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
home. puking in laundry basket.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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