I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
