don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
