Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
