no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
