I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize