At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
