hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
